You Are Enough

Our last installment of Mindful Motherhood for 2016! What a journey it has been this year, and we are deeply grateful to each of you that continues to read, engage, and listen.

This month, we have a simple and pure message for all of you mamas out there.

You.
Are.
Enough.

You are enough for yourself
You are enough for your children
You are enough for the world around you

You
Are
Enough

And you have enough. And you do enough.

You are so perfectly made, just the way you are. Lower those expectations of perfection, and just be you.

If you need any other reminder of just how enough you are, listen here.

Listen over and over, until the words are etched on your heart and you breathe them in as if it is second nature. 

Wishing you all the very best, from the bottom of my heart.

xoxo
Shannon

Why They Always Want Mama

You hear it in the middle of the night

mama
mommy
mom
mum

From the moment that they first wake up to when they rest their tired heads down on their pillow...and sometimes even in the middle of the night when something scary happens in a dream.

They
Just
Want
Mama

So often, we cringe at the words, especially when they are spoken over and over and followed up with can I have a (insert thing here...probably the word "snack").

But at the end of the day, there is no sweeter word and no better feeling than your child wanting and needing you for something.

Why do they always want mama? Well, because they know you. They trust you. They know your heart from the inside out. They feel comforted by your arms and your smell.

They just want mama.

They want you to hold them. They want to hear your voice and for you to sing.

They want you because they love you and them saying your name over and over is them telling you that you are important. You are everything to them, even in the times when you feel like you are failing them.

Hold them a little longer
Squeeze them a little tighter

Be there. They need you.

xoxo
Shannon

Be Present For Your Children

A few weeks back during an online essential oils class I was attending, we were asked what three goals we had for ourselves when it came to our health and lifestyle.

I started thinking about the point of life I am in right now an recognized that there has been a massive shift in our lives lately. While we are absolutely active parents and embrace everything of who our kids are, we've both transitioned and have been taking on more professional responsibility within our respective businesses.

What it made me realize is that my top priority is shutting off and down, and being more present for my boys.

Laughing with them
Going on adventures in the woods
Reading to them
Getting outside and getting dirty
Building forts out of blankets
Having ice cream for breakfast

They are only little for so long, and that message struck really loudly when we were a few days before back to school. My oldest was starting Grade 1 and Mr. Graeme was about to start daycare. While I knew in my heart that it was the best decision for everyone involved, and that it would allow him to grow in ways that I could only dream of helping him with....I was struggling in my heart.

Owen was home with me until he was 4, at which point he started school. Graeme has had a part-time nanny since the Spring, but this daycare thing would be different. A huge piece of my heart...a piece that is represented in a dimply-red-curly-haired-giggly boy...would be away from me.

So in the time when we are together, in those precious moments where my heart is full and beaming...I vow to be present.

To laugh
To explore
To hold him close

He will only be (sorta...he's 34lbs!) little for so long!

xoxo
Shannon

There is Always Time for Stories and Snuggles

In our fast paced world, it's so easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of to-do lists, errands that need to be run and feeling exhausted at the end of the day.

Slow down, mama!

There is always time for an extra story (especially with the older kids!), and to-do lists should always be plentiful in snuggles!

Take time this month to think about what is really important. The bills will always get paid, the car will always get to the dealership for service, the groceries will always get done and the pantry will be restocked.

But those snuggles? Those stories?

Those moments with your kiddos?

Make time. The other things, the errands and whatnot...they can wait.

Spend time with those that matter most, and I promise you, you won't regret it!

xoxo
Shannon

5 Questions to ask a New Mom

We've all been there. A friend has a baby and we immediately want to swoop in for a snuggle, go ga-ga over buying cute baby gifts and maybe even make a meal or two to bring to the new parents.

Before you head over for a visit, consider the following questions and tips that we've compiled for you.

Did you know that one of the things that new mom's crave most is adult conversation? So often at our weekly Moms Get Social group we hear stories of motherhood, women coming forward and talking about their birth experiences and the first few weeks postpartum, and really what rings true is that they want to get back to being themselves.

Here is a list of questions to ask a new mom when you pop over for a visit, and a snuggle.

What would you like for breakfast/lunch/dinner?

Chances are, Mom doesn't quite remember the last time that she had a full meal. Bring something with you that is either something she has been craving since being pregnant or something that is exceptionally tasty and good. If the response is I don't know or Oh, don't bring anything, we are fine....bring something anyway. Coffee and donuts. Breakfast burritos. Her absolute most favourite meal. Sushi. Butter Chicken. Anything. She will love you for it even if she doesn't want to ask for it.

What setting do you use for the laundry?

Weird question, right? While it might catch Mom off guard for you to be asking about their laundry habits, it makes perfect sense to ask if there are any special instructions for their washer or dryer
before throwing in and completing a load for her. 

How do you install the carseats?

Important information for you to have for when you pick up the older kiddos and take them to the park, museum, splashpad or library! Giving a new mom some peace and quiet, time to nap, and space to breathe is an incredible gift and she's lucky to have you do that for her!

When is the best time to visit?

This is something that people often forget. Babies have schedules and parents like to stick to them if they are working. While certainly, babies sleep a lot, there are certain times that don't make for great visits. Bath time, feeding time and nap time are definitely times to steer clear of as they add a level of stress to the parents that they simply do not need.


Is there anything you need? 

If the answer is no, I'm ok...ask more questions. Advil? Hygene products? Wine? Chocolate? Formula? Diapers? Go through a list of essential mom and baby items, and even if the answer is still no, I'm ok...bring chocolate. And wine. Always chocolate and wine.

At the end of the day, never arrive to a new mom with empty hands. Bring something with you whether it is coffee or a meal, a gift card and instructions for her to take herself out shopping for a half an hour while you get your snuggles in, or even candles and a bath soak for mom. Bring something for mom specifically....she matters so so much.

xoxo
Shannon

Take Pause and Reflect on Motherhood

No matter where you are in your journey, whether you are just starting to plan for conception or you are adding to an already large family, or are in the stages of welcoming grandchildren; take time this month to pause and reflect.

You've come a long way, and should be proud of the mother that you are.

Take pause
Reflect

Those moments where you were tearing your hair out trying to get them to eat their vegetables, or to not wake the baby during naptime....

You made it. You survived.

This journey is yours, no matter what path you are on. It is beautiful and amazing. It is difficult and tests your limits like nothing else.

It is yours.

Take pause
Reflect

You are an incredible human being, and your children are lucky to have you. Be proud of where you are in your journey of motherhood, for we are certainly proud of you.

xoxo
Shannon

You are a Good Mom

We all have those moments as mothers where we wonder if we are being good enough for our children and our families.

Are we truly being good mothers?

The truth is, we are all trying to figure it out. We are all doubting ourselves and while you might see one mom who looks like she has it all perfectly together, there are moments even in her day where she wonders...

Am I a good mom?

You are, that much I can promise you. You are the perfect mother for your children; exactly the one that they need.

You are a good mom, heck probably even a great one!

Consider in this moment, right here and now, all of the wonderful things that you did today as a mom.  You clothed your children, fed them breakfast, packed lunches, dropped them off at school or got them safely to the bus stop. You challenged their world and encouraged them to grow as individuals. You took a few moments of peace for yourself, even if it was only a quick trip to the bathroom to sneak into your secret chocolate stash that they don't know is there.

You are there when they cry, giving them a safe place to fall.
You are there to cheer them on and celebrate their victories.

You
Are
A
Good
Mom

Don't forget that, and don't let anyone make you feel any different.

xoxo
Shannon

Invite Joy and Silliness into Your Home

Happy June!!!

June is absolutely one of my favorite months....perfect for getting outside, log rolling down hills, playing with water balloons and just being plain silly with the kids.

As adults we have a load on our plate, and sometimes that adulting in hard.

There are bills to pay, mouths to feed
Decisions to make
Places to go and people to see

But life doesn't always have to be so serious. There are sweet moments spent making forts and shadow puppets with flashlights. There are times when washing the car in the driveway turns into a soapy water fight.

Those are the moments to relish, and this summer I encourage you to be silly and have fun with your kids. They grow up all too fast and one day will be adults, making those same hard adulting decisions that you are faced with right now.

Slow down.
Live
Laugh

Be silly

xoxo
Shannon

To Your Baby, You Are The World

There are so many times throughout motherhood where we feel like we are failing.

Are we giving enough to our children?
Did we snap at them too quickly when they gave us some attitude?
Are we setting good examples?
Are we setting too high of standards?

Are we good enough?

And then comes the flood of I can't possibly do all of this!

Mom
Wife or spouse
Friend
Person

Along with all of the other jobs. We feel stretched thin and just when we think we have a great routine going, someone gets sick or is teething, gets in trouble at school or is struggling with emotional issues...

We feel like just one person. Just one person in this gigantic universe, and we feel like we don't matter.

The sleepless nights don't matter
The mounds of laundry that get washed, dried and put away are always done without an ounce of thanks
The legos are picked up from the floor so others won't step on them
The late nights
The early mornings

We feel like just one person, but have you ever stopped to consider that to your baby, to your children...you are the entire world?

You are there at a moments notice when they aren't feeling well
You comfort and soothe
You provide boundaries and love
You motivate and encourage

You are their world.

Exhausting, absolutely.

But in the moments when they are still, and they look up with at you with those dreamy eyes and plant a big kiss on your cheek. Those are the moments when that big gigantic universe doesn't matter and you feel like their world.

xoxo
Shannon

Infertility: When Your Husband Just Doesn't Understand

Infertility is hard enough as it is but it is even more frustrating when your husband just doesn’t understand what you are going through which leaves you feeling annoyed, overwhelmed and alone. I recently heard a male’s take on infertility and thought it was quite interesting and helpful. It made me see our infertility through my husband’s eyes which helped me to understand his reactions to certain situations that have come up throughout our journey.

I am hoping that by sharing the male perspective on infertility that it may help others through their journeys as well. 

During my conversation I was told that men and women process emotional events, such as infertility, differently and that I could be certain that my husband was hurting just as I was. A lot of women have the desire to become mothers and often that desire begins at a young age. For me it started quite young. At the age of about 10 my mom would often find me in the baby section of any store we were in. I was constantly checking out baby clothes and anything baby related. What I didn’t think about was that men often have the same desire to become fathers so of course the thought of that not happening would affect him just as it affected me.

Men also tend to think that they need to “fix” everything. But infertility isn’t something that can easily be fixed, and you cannot fix it on your own. This can be very frustrating for your husband too and apparently a man’s natural reaction is to ignore it with the hope that the pain will just go away, which is exactly what my husband did. Of course my reaction was that he didn’t care or think that it was important. I was told to be patient with him and that infertility was affecting my husband just as it was affecting me, however, men and women process things in different ways and at different times and that possibly his lack of caring/support could be a defense mechanism.

That being said, it is still crucial that each person understand what the other is going through and that you help each other through the obstacle that you are facing.

At that moment I knew that I had to have a conversation with my husband so we could figure out what we were feeling and work together through it. Sometimes it is hard for men to talk to their wives about emotional struggles as they think they need to be a strong boulder and cannot so signs of weakness. If this is the case I strongly recommend that they find someone else that they can talk to, like a friend or maybe even a therapist. If they do not seek out support, whether that is their wife or their friend, the pain and fear will build up and they could feel as though they may explode. Holding on to the guilt, pain and sadness will cause it to become something worse than it is. It could even end up making you resent each other and neither of you need that.

Infertility is not easy and it never will be. But understanding what each person is going through will ultimately help both parties. This discussion definitely helped me to see my husband’s perspective and helped me understand that he does care and that this is not easy for him either. I truly hope that after reading this you will understand your husband’s perspective as well. You may even grow closer as you go through this journey together. 

I know we have.

xoxo

Stephanie

How to Feel Comfortable Breastfeeding in Public

Being a new mom is stressful enough, fresh air can do the body good, even for babies. No one wants to stay cooped up in their house if they are breastfeeding every two hours on demand. The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding is for children up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods for up to two years of age or beyond.

 

If someone told you while pregnant that you needed to stay in your home for two years, how would you react? You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay at home and not enjoy activities like everyone else just because you have had a baby. Get out there and help make breastfeeding something “normal”, show the next generation of young men and women that it can be done!

Some women feel confident enough to breastfeed in public right of the start – you may not be one of these moms so I will share with you some tips and tricks.

Clothing

Proper clothing is key to breastfeeding discreetly in public. Many maternity and baby stores offer a wide variety of nursing bras, tank tops and shirts. If you are on a budget, just having an extra layer like a stretchy tank top underneath a shirt is just as effective. A flowy cardigan can double as a cozy blanket for your little one while staying covered as well.

Baby wearing

You might be surprised to see some moms wear their babies while breastfeeding at the same time, well it is easy and convenient plus you have two hands free! Whether you are out shopping, at a family member’s house or going for a walk around the block, being hands free and discrete can be easy.

This can take some practice in finding the right carrier for your needs, many cities have local baby wearing groups and lending libraries for advice and support.

Cover-ups

If you are still unsure about heading out in your new breastfeeding ensemble in public you can always have a cover-up handy! Nowadays these can be very stylish and can double as scarves, blankets and even car seat covers!

Practice

Practice latching your baby in front of the mirror in different tops and covers, you might be surprised what you can learn by viewing this from a different perspective. Latching is the time where you would ever expose yourself completely, a baby’s head does a great job of covering the nipple area!

Another great tip is to turn your body towards a wall or a friend or family member who is out with you to prevent full exposure. Remember, never feel bad for asking for help from a seasoned friend or even a breastfeeding support group.

Also, you can practice what you would say to someone if you were ever confronted. It may never happen but it’s better to be prepared and confident rather than stumbling or feeling shame for feeding your baby.

Know your Rights

Breastfeeding in public is legal and a very good thing. You are nourishing your baby with the most biologically appropriate food, and at the same time you are educating any young men and women who might happen to see you. The Ontario Human Rights Commission specifically states:

No one should prevent you from nursing your child simply because you are in a public area. They should not ask you to “cover up,” disturb you, or ask you to move to another area that is more “discreet.”

Find your Tribe

If you have any reservations about breastfeeding in public make sure that someone is with you that supports your decisions to breastfeed. Whether it is your partner, friend or family member have someone on your excursion there to help you out.

Joining a local mom group is also a great way to make new friends who understand our daily mom struggles, many of which can give you a boost in confidence to help you feel empowered!

Smile

Enjoy the moment, smile at your baby, don’t over think and act like you are doing something wrong. Breastfeeding can be a hard journey for some women, feeling ashamed, shunned or even bad for exposing a small amount of skin in public. Follow these tips and gain confidence!

And don’t forget to smile back when you see a mom breastfeeding at the mall or the park… she may need some encouragement 

xoxo

Janice

To the Mother of babies who couldn't stay...

This month in Mindful Motherhood...it may get a little emotional.

You see, not all of the babies that we long for, care for, grow in our heart and womb...not all of them are able to stay here with us.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss is a very real thing, and unfortunately is something that we don't really talk about as much as we should. We suffer and grieve in silence, we take on all of this burden and harbour these feelings of guilt alone.

But you don't have to.

Whether you reach out to a doula, a friend, your mom or aunt. A co-worker, a therapist, the barrista making your coffee.

Just. Reach. Out.

Time will heal, but you will never forget. And it is absolutely ok to talk about your baby, to consider them a part of your family. I often refer to myself as the mom of 3, even though only my two (crazy) boys are the only ones tagging along. When people ask, I say that Arrow, our daughter, just couldn't stay.

She just...couldn't...stay.

And there's nothing that I did wrong, and certainly, there is nothing that you did wrong. You loved, and continue to love, that baby who couldn't stay. 

Just because we are unable to hold them in our arms, doesn't mean we can't hold them in our hearts.

Be gentle and kind with yourself this month, and always. The pain will dull. Things will change and shift. But you will never forget.

xoxo
Shannon

Let Go of the Mom Guilt

Are you holding onto some Mom Guilt right now?

It's funny; when I was growing up, I was often told by my Dad to take care of number 1 and I never really fully understood what that meant until I became a mom. I always thought that it meant sticking up for yourself, defining your own path, and to a degree not caring if what is best for you hurts other people.

Now that I'm a mom, I understand it in a totally different way.

One thing that we tell our postpartum clients is that it is important to take care of themselves. Whether that means a 15 minute break in the evening to run out for a coffee (drive-thru's were made for parents, I'm convinced!) without children in the back seat, or a hot shower at the end of a long day. Whatever it means for you, take care of yourself.

You cannot pour water into a cup from an empty pitcher, after all.

The same goes for taking care of your family. There will be sleepless nights, there will be diapers to change, there will be mouths to feed and emotions to soothe.

And if you are run ragged and are stressed and feel like you don't know who you are anymore, how can you do any of those things? How can you be expected to do any of those things?

I find that often when I fail to take care of myself it's because of mom guilt. I feel like I shouldn't be taking that time to decompress. And then, a few days later, I feel like a monster, all wrapped up in my own head because I didn't take that time. It's a rather vicious circle, really.

Take that time. You matter, and the better you are to yourself, the more you are showing those around you that you are worthy, you are valuable and that they too should be taking care of themselves in little ways.

Let the self love flow!!

xoxo
Shannon

You are Exactly the Mother Your Children Need

Happy 2016! We are absolutely thrilled that you're here and can't wait to engage with you all through the course of this year.

We have a few new things happening, starting with the first post every month, which we are calling Mindful Motherhood.

What is Mindful Motherhood? It's a monthly dose of self care, inspiration, motivation and kindness delivered to you right here on the blog, and in our newsletters. (you can sign up to receive them up there at the top!)

Each month, there will be a new message of ways you can be kind to yourself, moments to reflect on, and ways to be proud of how far you've come as a mother.

Whenever you are feeling an ounce of doubt, remember that you are exactly the mother that your children need.

You are strong
You are loving
You are incredible and no mother is perfect.

Being a mom is difficult, and comes with many challenges. It also comes with incredibly rewarding moments where you are proud of the little beings you're raising into amazing people. Be proud of that!

You are exactly the mother that your children need.

Hold onto that this month, and in any moment that follows where you doubt if you are doing a good job.

We assure you, you are.

xoxo
Shannon

Early Bird Registration closes TOMORROW!

Tomorrow is your last chance to save $100 on registration for both the Postpartum Wellness Retreat in February and the Prenatal Wellness Retreat in May!

Space is limited to 5 attendees for each retreat! This is to ensure you are getting specialized attention and care, one-on-one doula support and that there is ample time to tend to each person, as well as space and room to move as a group.

Register now for one or both of these amazing retreats! Tomorrow is the last day to save $100!

Naptime Checkin #selfcare

Hey lady...you right there with the peacefully sleeping newborn. You, with the toddler drawing on your walls, husband working long hours, and not sure what is for dinner.

You, who've just returned to work after a too-short maternity leave.
You.

You.

Did you take a nap this month to recharge your batteries?

If you haven't had the chance to catch up on some sleep, now is your opportunity. Seize it!
Better yet, leave a list of chores or errands that need to be done, so the magical cleaning and do-gooder fairies can get some work done for you! (I'm looking at you...husbands, kids, partners, inlaws!)

Take that nap. Shut off your phone or leave it in another room on silent.
Take care of you.

Trust Your Body, Birth Your Baby

All too often during a prenatal appointment with a client, we hear things like...

but how will I know it's actually labour?
what if I can't handle it?
will I know when to go to the hospital?
I'm not sure I can do this.

When it comes right down to it, our bodies were made for birthing babies. What we lack is a profound trust in our body's ability to perform under...stress...fear...anxiety...in hospitals...at home...with too many people in the room...in emergency situations.

We lack a trust in ourselves to trust our instincts
We lack a trust in ourselves to trust our body's natural abilities
We lack a trust in ourselves

We strongly encourage you....let go of the negative associations with birth, contractions, hospitals, home, pain, and breathe in everything that is good. Think about the life that is inside of you; you made that! (with a little help!) He or she knows you by the beat of your heart, and soon...will know you by your smell, the soft sound of your voice and the closeness of your skin.

Trust your body.
It was made to bring your baby into this world and it knows exactly what it is doing to get them here safely.

Birth your baby.
Do it your way. Take control of your situation and circumstances, but be mindful to go with the flow of things, listening to your body and trusting it throughout the process.

We promise you; you will know when it is time, when it is real.

Just trust.

xoxo
Shannon

Nap When the Baby Naps #selfcare

Raise your hand if you're ready for a nap!!

This month, self care takes a turn for comfy pillows, sheets, warm blankets and naptime.

Take a nap.

Being a mom is hard. It's exhausting, and even though there are so many incredible moments of pride, accomplishment, tenderness....it's still exhausting.

You deserve a nap.

A long one at that! Close the door, put in some ear plugs, or even indulge in a sleep inducing meditation.

Sleep, mama. Sleep.

For when you wake, you will move mountains.