How to Process your Birth Experience

Processing your birth experience is an important thing to do whether you just gave birth and have a newborn at home, or you gave birth years ago and are starting to think about adding another baby to your family.

In the past, I've talked about processing birth trauma, but this is a little different. This is about processing everything that went on leading up to and immediately after the birth of your baby, be it good, great, bad or traumatic.

Trust someone enough to tell them

This is a big one following the birth of your baby...trust. If things didn't go to plan, or you made a decision that you were unsure of, trusting someone enough to tell them what happened during birth may be difficult. Think about all of the people in your support circle, and choose the one that you trust the most. Female, male, sister, mother, grandmother, friend. It really doesn't matter so long as you trust them.

Let go of guilt

Was your plan for a home birth, and you opted to go to the hospital? Did you opt to cut the cord right away? Did you want extended skin to skin and quiet in the room following the birth? No matter what the decisions you made about your birth were, they were right for you in that moment. You are the only one who lived through your pregnancy, and you are the only one who can decide what is right for you, your body and your baby. Noone is in a position to judge you. Let go of the guilt, and know that you birthed your baby exactly how you needed to.

Talk about the trauma

If something happened that went extremely against your plan, like an emergency cesarean or life saving measures, we encourage you to talk about it. The longer you sweep it under the rug and ignore it, the more intensity it will build. In subsequent pregnancies, that anxiety, fear, guilt, trauma....all of those intense feelings that have been brewing may just explode, which isn't healthy for anyone. Know that those around you are listening, and are there to support you.

Celebrate it

You are the one who gave birth. Not your nurses, not your doctors, not your doula and not your midwives. You. This birth was completely and entirely yours (and your partners!) Celebrate the moment that you became a parent. Toast to a job well done, because let's face it...giving birth is hard!

Birth doesn't always go to plan, and sometimes scary things happen. When we bottle it up and let it take over our thoughts, things can get spun around and what we remember having happened may not have actually happened. If you have a doula present at your birth, debrief with them within a week of the birth to make sure everything you remember is accurate. If you feel jaded or angry about anything that happened, express that to someone and then let it go.

You did a great job bringing your baby into the world. Acknowledge that. Celebrate that. Be proud of that.

xoxo
Shannon

Tips for Vaginal Birth Recovery

Another great topic from the beautiful mamas in the New Mom's group!

Something that we are rather unprepared for is the after birth portion of the birth process. We labour, push, tear, are stitched and sent home with advil. Whoop di do!

Thankfully there are a few things that you can do at home to help recover from a vaginal birth, whether or not you had any tearing.

Ice

This is one that my cousin told me about following an episiotomy in 2010. Spritz a thick overnight sanitary pad with way and then stick it in the freezer. Once it is nice and chilly, wear it like you would a normal sanitary pad. Pretty much instant relief for sore perineal muscles, swollen and sensitive areas and completely episiotomy and tear friendly.

Sitz Bath

I'm sure you've heard of them, but what are they exactly? Well, they are a blend of healing herbs that you add to a shallow pool of bath water to sit in. It's used to cleanse, as well as soothe. Earth Mama, Anointment and Happy Rock Holistics all make lovely herb bath remedies for postpartum use.

Relief for Swelling

Another thing that you can use to help alleviate the pain and discomfort caused by vaginal childbirth and swelling is a bottom spray.With soothing ingredients like witch hazel and peppermint, a spray like this just might come in handy for other things like bug bites and sunburns!

Put your feet up!

If you had an epidural, there is a good likelihood that you will have some swelling in your legs. To help the fluid drain, keep your feet up as much as possible. I found lying on the couch with my legs up over the back of the couch to be the most effective, even if it was super awkward.

When it hurts to sit...

Sit on a pillow. The further down you have to go, the more it is going to hurt those sensitive areas that are still healing. Put a pillow on the seat in the car, on the couch, on the recliner or glider. Elevate the spots where you will sit so you don't have to squat down as far.

Cramping

You may find after vaginal childbirth that you have a decent amount of cramping in your abdomen. Totally normal, and they likely remind you of the cramps you get around the time of your period. A hot water bottle or heating pad on your tummy may bring relief, as might an herbal tea with ginger (which will also help with any queasiness during postpartum recovery), peppermint essential oils massaged onto your tummy and ibuprofen.


When all else fails, remember that your body has just been put through something fairly traumatic that it likely has never done before. Take it easy, be kind to your body! Listen to it when it feels like you need to slow down. Have a bath with epsom salts for weary arm and leg muscles.

Take your time! I promise it will feel better soon!