How Life Trauma Can Impact Your Birth

It seems that this month we are talking all about the hard and challenging topics surrounding birth. At the beginning of the month, we talked about breastfeeding challenges. In the middle of the month, precipitous birth. And now? Trauma.

Trauma is something very real and very scary for alot of people, and yet something that we tend not to spend a whole lot of time talking about. And trauma can have different meanings to different people.

Rape
Divorce
Death of an important person
Abuse
Car accident
Injury
Bullying
Abortion
Miscarriage
Infant loss
Childhood experiences
Adult experiences

Trauma takes many, many forms and has a massive impact on your birth process (and postpartum recovery!)

How?

Well, most often when trauma hits, human beings tend to bury the emotions that are associated with that trauma. Fear, guilt, anger, despair, depression, sadness. There are so many emotions going on at one time, that it's often easier to bury them than to face them and let them go.

As we bury them, we hold onto them (rather unnecessarily) and then they creep up in situations that we don't expect....like birth! When hormones are running wild and you're being faced with a life changing event, it's reasonable to think that those buried emotions and experiences will come to the surface.

So, how do you deal with life trauma while you're pregnant? Isn't that just opening a can of worms, and inviting for stress during pregnancy?

Well, the best thing you can do (I speak from both personal experience and as a doula helping my clients through trauma) is to talk. Open up and talk about what has happened, acknowledge those emotions no matter how far deep they are buried and then let them go.

They serve you in no positive way.
You didn't do anything wrong at the time (or now).
You are whole and you are safe.
That past experience can no longer hurt you.
It won't happen again.
You are stronger than what happened to you.

Harness your own power and strength, and send the trauma on its way. Talking about your trauma may stir up emotions, but know that you are one step closer to releasing them and being free of them.

Chat with your doula, your partner, a trusted friend. Find an outlet like yoga or meditation to help you acknowledge and release.

xoxo
Shannon

How to Process Birth Trauma

It's one of those topics that noone really wants to talk about, but is so important to verbalize.

Birth Trauma.

It can be scary, and it can lead to a million different emotional and mental complications {also ones that noone wants to talk about}.

It is important to process your birth trauma shortly after your birth has happened. The longer that you hold onto those emotions, the longer they have to fester and give life to guilt, depression, and a whole list of other traumatic complications.

When I meet with my postpartum doula clients, the first thing that I ask is how did your birth go? While I have been met with a wide range of answers, I find that it is best if I just sit and let them talk. They often need an outlet, a safe space, to process how everything went.

Did they feel in control?
Did something happen that they didn't consent to?
Did they feel respected?
If they deviated from their birth plan, was that ok?

If you need to process birth trauma, I strongly encourage you to talk it out. Find a friend and a quiet coffee shop, go out for a drink or dessert and just talk it out. Pour your heart on the table and let go of the guilt.

The best thing that you can do for yourself when you have experience birth trauma is to open up your heart and talk it out.

Tips for Vaginal Birth Recovery

Another great topic from the beautiful mamas in the New Mom's group!

Something that we are rather unprepared for is the after birth portion of the birth process. We labour, push, tear, are stitched and sent home with advil. Whoop di do!

Thankfully there are a few things that you can do at home to help recover from a vaginal birth, whether or not you had any tearing.

Ice

This is one that my cousin told me about following an episiotomy in 2010. Spritz a thick overnight sanitary pad with way and then stick it in the freezer. Once it is nice and chilly, wear it like you would a normal sanitary pad. Pretty much instant relief for sore perineal muscles, swollen and sensitive areas and completely episiotomy and tear friendly.

Sitz Bath

I'm sure you've heard of them, but what are they exactly? Well, they are a blend of healing herbs that you add to a shallow pool of bath water to sit in. It's used to cleanse, as well as soothe. Earth Mama, Anointment and Happy Rock Holistics all make lovely herb bath remedies for postpartum use.

Relief for Swelling

Another thing that you can use to help alleviate the pain and discomfort caused by vaginal childbirth and swelling is a bottom spray.With soothing ingredients like witch hazel and peppermint, a spray like this just might come in handy for other things like bug bites and sunburns!

Put your feet up!

If you had an epidural, there is a good likelihood that you will have some swelling in your legs. To help the fluid drain, keep your feet up as much as possible. I found lying on the couch with my legs up over the back of the couch to be the most effective, even if it was super awkward.

When it hurts to sit...

Sit on a pillow. The further down you have to go, the more it is going to hurt those sensitive areas that are still healing. Put a pillow on the seat in the car, on the couch, on the recliner or glider. Elevate the spots where you will sit so you don't have to squat down as far.

Cramping

You may find after vaginal childbirth that you have a decent amount of cramping in your abdomen. Totally normal, and they likely remind you of the cramps you get around the time of your period. A hot water bottle or heating pad on your tummy may bring relief, as might an herbal tea with ginger (which will also help with any queasiness during postpartum recovery), peppermint essential oils massaged onto your tummy and ibuprofen.


When all else fails, remember that your body has just been put through something fairly traumatic that it likely has never done before. Take it easy, be kind to your body! Listen to it when it feels like you need to slow down. Have a bath with epsom salts for weary arm and leg muscles.

Take your time! I promise it will feel better soon!

Postpartum Sealing Ceremony with Happy Rock Holistics #healing #sacredpregnancy

Earlier this week, I had the most beautiful opportunity to take part in a sealing ceremony with Kelly from Happy Rock Holistics, in London, Ontario.

While I wasn't sure what to expect, Kelly assured me that the ceremony would be healing, one of a kind, and was meant to help close emotional scars that may still have been open from the birth trauma with my first pregnancy.

I'm not sure that I can accurately describe just what happened. Kelly started by binding my eyes, then arms, belly, legs and continued her way down to my feet. At every step, she recited a piece of sacred pregnancy wisdom, and I just laid there...eyes closed, meditating and letting her words sink in.

Clarity of vision
Healing of the womb
Strength of arms

I was on the verge of tears when she got to the end of the ceremony, and started to do a light massage of warm oil on my arms, ankles and feet. It was just such a beautiful experience; one that I will certainly never forget.

In the distance, I could hear Owen playing with his Dad, and Graeme cooing softly in his crib. But this space was just for me. I was able to just lay in the quiet, turn my thoughts inward and focus on healing a very long journey.

For me, this journey started when my first son was born in 2010. I had been harbouring resentment toward my body and brain, grief over the miscarriage, anxiety over the threat of another bout of PostPartum Depression...but in this moment with Kelly, I was about to let all of that go and finally breathe.

We finished the ceremony with a belly firming paste {which made me smell like, and want, spice cake!} and belly binding.

Later that evening, the emotions were overflowing. The tears fell fast and hot against my face, and I felt an emotional release like I haven't experienced in a very long time. I felt...free. I took the binding off and felt like a mom should feel after they bring their babe into the world: confident, beautiful, whole.

I am so thankful for this experience, and that my good friend Lainie from Lainie Hird Photography was there to capture these sacred moments on film.

Disclaimer: I received these services from Happy Rock Holistics on a complimentary basis for the purposes of this review. All of the opinions expressed, and beautiful experience endured, are my own.