How PPD and a Traumatic Birth Changed Me #pregnancy

So, to this point I've kept things pretty light and airy around here, with a focus on the professional side of things. However, I think it's time to open up about past experiences that have shaped who I am, particularly who I am as a mom.

When I was pregnant with my first, I had a pretty tough time. I threw up alot (lost 21lbs in my first trimester), then had 42 days of back labour before our little guy came into the world. When he did make his arrival, he was born in distress, with the cord wrapped around his neck.

I found out a couple of days after he was born that we almost lost him, and my poor husband had to watch the pediatrics team work on our son to revive him.

Not exactly an ideal pregnancy or birth experience. In fact, it was actually really traumatic and was a big reason that I ended up with Postpartum Depression.

I've always said that the experiences along our path shape who we are, and I firmly believe that PPD and Owen's traumatic birth has shaped who I am as a mom, as a woman. Since then, I have found my voice, found my passion and urge other moms to do the same.

As we enter third trimester with our new little guy, I am filled with so many mixed emotions. I'm scared of getting PPD again, I'm scared of a traumatic birth. I'm hopeful for a positive outcome all around, and know that I am more in control of things than I was last time.

To the little guy who made me a mom for the very first time, thank you. Thank you for teaching me just how strong I am, for not judging me when I didn't (and still don't) know what I was doing and for learning and growing with me every step of the way.

What does all of this have to do with me as a business owner? Well...it's about being authentic and sharing my journey with you. It's about being real, and taking the time to process all that happened just four short years ago, when we are of the eve of doing it all over again; this time more informed and empowered than before.

My voice is strong and for once, I feel in control of things. This pregnancy has been pretty great. I have stayed active, am the healthiest that I ever have been in my entire life, and have tried my darnedest to set us up for a happy, healthy and safe birth experience. I know that there are things that are not within my control, and that ultimately we just have to roll with things as they come, but knowing that and accepting that is part of what has shaped this pregnancy to be a positive one.

This is something that I will continue to write about and open up about. We have made some incredible decisions with this pregnancy, including hiring our amazing Doula, Jena, and I want to share those experiences with you.

Until then...embrace the experiences along your path, however hard they may be. Process them, be grateful for them, and learn from them.