How to Create a Safe Space at Home

One thing that I hear over and over again from my postpartum doula clients is that once they become a mom, they feel lost and overwhelmed. Suddenly, the essence of who they are has changed and now they are being called on for feedings, diaper changes, meal prep for the rest of the family, cleaning the house, and the list goes on and on.

So how do you create a space that is just for you, within the walls of your chaotic home?

Think about the things that you truly enjoyed prior to becoming a mom. Maybe you really loved to curl up with a favorite blanket in a comfortable chair with a beautiful book and warm cup of tea. Perhaps you like to get your hands dirty with clay and a pottery wheel. Make a list of the things that you really loved...things that make you truly happy.

Now, look at your list and consider the space that you have in your home. Maybe you have an unfinished basement and a pottery wheel would be totally doable. Maybe you don't have that space but you have a lovely corner in the nursery where you could put a reading chair and side table.

Then, make the space uniquely yours. In my art studio, for example, I have an area for creating at a high table with lots of storage under neath. Then, I have my rocking chair, side table and stack of books off to the side, with a cozy blanket. The entire room is just for me, and only those who are invited in are allowed. It is my space, and I feel safe, free and like myself when I am in it.

On my cork board, I have inspiring phrases about being awesome, drawings that I have done of arrows and anchors, and badges of honour that I want to be able to look back on and learn from. I also have pictures of those important people who have etched their way on to my heart, those folks who are proud of where I came from and who I am becoming. Reminders of why I do what I do, and how hard I push myself.

So...what does your safe space look like? Is it an entire room, or a corner of a shared space where your family can see you taking time out for yourself? Full of books, or empty for self reflection?

Whatever the space, make sure that it is yours. Make sure that you feel safe, grounded and secure there. Make sure to take care of your heart.