There are so many aspects to pregnancy and parenting that just aren't talked about. You know the things I'm talking about; the ones that happen every day and no one wants to talk about because they're hard. They stir up emotions that we would rather bury and hide from.
Today we are talking about pregnancy after loss.
It's a time of such mixed emotions. A time I remember well. After the guilt and grief, numbness and pain came this time where we were supposed to be overcome with joy when we found out we were expecting again.
It had only been six weeks or so. The pain was still there from losing the one we would never meet. How on earth we were supposed to be overcome with joy?
I was overcome, all right. With fear. With anxiety. With a secret worry that we would lose another.
Pregnancy after loss is scary. While absolutely you greet each little milestone with open arms and joy, there's a huge amount of fear that comes with it. And then the questions start.....
Is it too good to be true?
When is something going to go wrong?
Something will definitely go wrong, right?
But the answer, truly, is that nothing bad is necessarily going to happen just because it happened before.
If you are pregnant after a miscarriage or some type of pregnancy loss, take it one day at a time and surround yourself with a support network that makes you feel happy, calm, good and confident. A network of people who will acknowledge and validate those fears and worries and who will give you the space you need to express them.
Be gentle with yourself and take it day by day.
Know that the fear and worry is totally normal, and it won't always be there. Sure, once baby is here a whole new crop of worry will surface, but the fear of pregnancy loss and miscarriage will cease to be.
Live and appreciate each sweet moment. Each kick and hiccup. Each roll and push. These are the moments that remind you that you are having a healthy pregnancy and that the fear holds no place for you.
If you ever need support, know that it is there and we hold you with compassion.