Am I feeding her right?
What if I'm not playing with him enough?
What if I sleep through the baby crying?
In Sherry Surratt's new book, Brave Mom: Facing and Overcoming Your Real Mom Fears, all of these things are discussed.
Do you ever feel lost? Like...ok, now I'm Owen and Graeme's mom...is that it? Do I cease to be...me? What about fearing for your baby's safety? Are you bushing their tender gums and new teeth often enough? Introducing solids at the right time? Rear facing or forward facing?
We have oh so much to worry about as parents. Surratt looks at these fears in her book, and identifies that by being brave , and giving our children a role model who is real...who messes up and worries over the smallest things...we are giving them the best of ourselves and the best gift ever.
It's funny. When I was reading my copy of Brave Mom, I was considering how I talk with my doula clients about their fears. In particular, the search for perfect that Surratt talks about...so elusive, and yet we as women and as moms struggle with it on a daily basis (me included!). I find that alot of my doula clients, in the first week or so, hugely struggle with this and have super high expectations on themselves.
Those expectations feed into the fear, and the cycle starts.
What if, instead of being afraid and of being worried that we aren't enough for our children, we start being brave? We vocalize those fears, give them a life, and face them?
What if we weren't afraid to fall in front of people? To walk out of the house with spit up on our shoulder, mascara under our eye and our bra strap hanging out of our shirt?
What if we started being Brave Mom's?
So what are you afraid of? I am afraid of losing myself and ceasing to recognize that shining face in the mirror. I'm afraid of the loss of identity that happens when you become a mom, because I am so much more than just Owen and Graeme's mom (though, that's a pretty great thing to be, too).
I am afraid of the broken hearts they will get eventually, the tears and the fights.
I am afraid of them being bullied and cornered when I'm not there to protect them.
I am afraid of the day when they won't need me anymore, and how much that will hurt.
What are you afraid of? Give it a voice, write it in the comments, then let it go.
If you are in need of a little encouragement, and permission to face your mom fears so that you can be brave, I highly recommend that you read Brave Mom: Facing and Overcoming Your Real Mom Fears. You may just learn something about yourself that you never knew before!
Disclaimer: I received a digital copy of Brave Mom: Facing and Overcoming Your Real Mom Fears from the publisher for the purposes of this review. All opinions expressed are my own.